The Island of Love or Hell
by Getemono
Summary: OMG WE'RE BACK! ling bashing, and hilarious goodness in this fruity competition!
1. prolouge

The Island of Love or Hell

Summary: After winning the King of Iron Fist Tournament 5, Xiaoyu is finally able to fund a whacky romantic reality show. Not for Xiaoyu fans. Includes one OC.

Disclaimer: we do not own Tekken, Totoro, or any game shows.

Prologue-For the love of Jin –Jin

Heihachi Mishima glared at his Rolex watch; he had been waitingcomplicated for that ditzy Chinese girl for over an hour now. He sighed in exasperation; his directions had probably been too complicated for Ling Xiaoyu. He began to descend into his car when a shrill voice caused him to cringe.

" Grandpa Heihachi, wait!" A bouncy girl with pigtails rushed towards him. "I'm sorry I'm late, but pandas are sooo stupid.

Heihachi rubbed his temples. "Why are pandas so stupid, Ling?" He asked.

"Because they don't know how to tell directions. I told her it was this way…but she wouldn't listen." She said darkly.

A shiver ran down Heihachis spine. "What happened to Panda, Ling?"

"Oh, she just happened to "walk" into busy traffic."

"Okay " Heihachi said slowiny, seriously regretting being remotely involved with her.

"We're here to discuss my future with Jin Jin." Ling said cheerfully.

"Yes, yes where should we go to talk?" Heihachi asked.

Ling jumped into the Limo and said "Drive."

The driver complied and Ling rolled p the connecting window. "Being the winner of the king of iron fist tournament 5," she began squeakily.

"By default." Heihachi added.

"Who would have thought that all 30 contestants would become terribly sick at the same time?" Ling asked breezily.

"Who would have thought indeed." Heihachi muttered.

"I'm finally going to claim my prize." Ling said. "I want enough money to make a game show called "Island of Love or Hell". I will handpick all the contestants…and you,Grandpa Heihachi can be priest…"

When Xiaoyu had finished explaining the rules of the game show and who she intended on picking, an evil grin spread across his face. Kazuya was safely married to Jun, but Lee and Jin were very single. And if they got annoying wives, that would certainly kill Kazuya. Heihachi took out a contract.

"Very well, Ling Xiaoyu, I agree to your terms. Now If you will please sign here, I make sure your dreams become a reality."

A big grin spread across her face and she happily signed the contract. "For the love of JinJin!" She sang happily. "Thank you, grandpa Heihachi."

"No, no thank you," Heihahi said handing her out of the car. "You've helped me so very much…"


	2. Happy family

Disclaimer: we do not own Tekken, Totoro, or any game shows

Oh yeah, this is my sisters fanfic, I just helped brainstorm a little.

Chapter 1- Happy Family

Kazuya reclined in his favorite chair and picked up the newspaper. However, he soon found that the world's events bored him and tossed the newspaper down.

"Stolen "Stolen baby, rights for senior citizens," He mocked. "What rubbish. Speaking of which... where'd the old man go? He's been too quiet lately."

As he sat pondering the whereabouts of his father, Jun walked in and wearily sat herself on the couch.

"I should have just hired maids!" She exclaimed softly. "I'm too tired to do all the chores and be a full time wild life watcher...and the cases are getting so hard! How should I know why Panda walked into busy traffic?"

Meanwhile, Jin and Lee were at their personal bar making martinis.

"Damn, Uncle Lee, I should've hung out with you sooner." Jin said after taking a sip of his drink. "I mean, you have the right ideas; vie for power in the Mishima zaibatsu, drink whatever the hell you want to, and just date girls just so you can get some."

The two men laughed and drained their cups.

"And," Lee said smoothly. "Don't forget our number one rule; to hell with marriage!"

They burst out laughing but stopped abruptly as the door to their saloon was violently opened. Asuka looked in angrily crying. Jin raised a brow and Lee grabbed a tequila.

"Is that my brand?" she asked hotly.

"You know it." Lee replied.

"Good, I'm gonna drink til I drop.! That bastrd Michiru broke up with me!"

She bit off the cork and sucked down half the bottle before slamming the door closed. The two men shrugged and returned to their drinking.

"You know Uncle Lee," Jin began, "It's a good thing we hang together cause we pick up chicks just like that."

He snapped his fingers and they were enveloped in a green light along with Jun, Kazuya and Asuka.

He

"s

"


	3. what the Bryan?

Chapter 2-what the – Brian?

Disclaimer: we do not own Tekken, Totoro, or any game shows

Oh yeah, this is my sisters fanfic, I just helped brainstorm a little.

Jin blinked his eyes rapidly as they slowly came into focus. He was sitting in a cat-bus (the one from Totoro) except this one had furry seatbelts that held him snugly in place. He looked across from him and his jaw dropped in horror.

"Ling!" He nearly screamed. "We've all died and gone to Hell." He said calmly.

"Jin honey, it's alright, we're all here." His mother reassured him.

"Snap again damn it, it's five o'clock." Lee demanded. Jin snapped but nothing happened. He sighed.

"This is all your fault, boy." Kazuya snapped.

"My fault?" Jin shot back. "How is this my fault!"

"Nearly everything bad that has happened to me can be traced back to you." Kazuya seethed.

"I've got a headache." Jun moaned.

"See," Kazuya said, "look at what you've done to your mother."

"Well Jin, it's five o'five, we've officially missed our party wave." Lee said sadly.

"Son of a -----"

"Language Jin." Jun scolded. "Asuka? Are you all right?"

"No, I'm still mad at that jerk Michiru for dumping me-"

"Hmph, that low life was not worth your time." Kazuya interrupted.

"And," Asuka continued," I'm sitting next to Bryan Fury."

Everyone's head snapped to the deranged cyborg.

It ain't no picnic sittin' next to you either." He returned glaring furiously at Asuka.

"What the ---" Jin stopped remembering that his mother was within earshot. "Bryan why are you here?"

"How the fuck should I know , Pretty Boy?" He sneered. "I was walking down the street bored as hell because there was nothing left to do. I've killed people with knives, guns, bazookas, my bare hands, everything. I've robbed banks, stolen stuff from the FBI making them look like incompetent buffoons, you name it, I've done it. So, then there's this stupid baby with a giant ass lollipop and I knew I had to have it."

"Wait" Lee said, "you stole candy from a baby?"

"Shut your ass Play Boy!" Bryan snarled. "Anyway, I go over and try to take the lollipop, but the little bastard has a death grip on it. I finally managed to rip it out of his grubby hands after ten minutes when this retarded green light shines on me and next thing I know I'm stuck on this furry reject with this weird Chinese chick staring at me."

"What happened to your lollipop?" Asuka asked, noticing that his hands were being held down by mounds of fur.

"This fucking cat shit head stole it."

"Meeooww, screew yoouu too!" The cat bus yowled.

"Ling, why are you here?" Jun asked, seriously disturbed by both the cat bus and Bryan.

"I don't know Mrs. Soon-to –be-mother-in-law-Mishima. I was just climbing a tree"

_Probably the tree outside my bedroom window_. Jin thought.

"and then this bright green light shinned in my eyes and then here I was." She said innocently.

"Oh some bastard's gonna get it good" Kazuya exploded, eyes flaming red. "Bad enough I'm stuck with diaper wearing old man, dumb ass brother, devil gene stealing idiot son, and drama queen daughter all day long. But now I'm stuck on a wanna be bus with them _and _a cheap-ass cyborg _and_ this psycho, stalking bitch!" After this, Jun could only massage her temples while everyone else gave Kazuya the evil eye.

Behind her angry face (puffed out cheeks) Xiaoyu snickered.

_It's working, they actually believe me! Soon Jin-Jin shall be mine._


	4. 2 Miss Changs and MrWulong

Disclaimer: I own jack squat. My sister owns the OC, and Namco owns Tekken.

Chapter 3: Welcome aboard 2 Miss Changs and Mr. Wulong

Michelle Chang ran her fingers through her hair, eyes scanning the desert for her daughters form. She nearly pulled her hair out. How long did it take for someone to buy a bag of chips anyway? The store was only a mile away and she had left with the car over an hour ago.

"Oh well," She thought to herself. "Pacing on the porch isn't going to make Julia come any faster…"

With one more wistful look into the distance, Michelle went back into her cottage. Hours past and Michelle was ranting angrily.

"5 hours is long enough! I want those damn chips!" The door opened and Julia walked in. "What on Earth took you so long?" Michelle asked.

"Well, I was going into the store when I saw this guy- his name was Kyle- protesting. So I stopped and asked what he was protesting about. It turns out that squirrelly chips uses squirrels to test their new flavors. And so I said 'That's terrible!' and so I sat next to Kyle and started protesting and boycotting squirrelly chips." Julia said.

"For 5 long hours?"Michelle said grating her teeth together.

"Oh, no, no mother , the time went by so fast." Julia corrected, oblivous to her mother's bulging veins.

"Julia I'm gonna –"

Suddenly a green light surrounded them, and they disappeared.

Meanwhile, in Detective Lei Wulong's office…

Stacks of paper mile high cluttered detective Lei Wulong's desk. He leaned his chair backwards, balancing on the back of 2 legs. He was extremely bored.

"Damn it" He said. "where's a good criminal when you need one? I had no idea my paperwork had piled this high. I can't even see my door!"

Sighing, he tried to fill out police records, but couldn't concentrate. After 12 minutes of doodling on the papers, he decided that he deserved a break. The detective placed a pencil on his nose and wondered how long he could keep it there.

_Man, where's Bryan? The guy's never dull; He's done everything illegal except jay walking._ Lei thought to himself. He sneezed, causing the pencil to drop, and he swore.

"Damn, I was probably going to break a record."

As he reached down to grab his pencil, Lei noticed last weeks newspaper with the headline: "Panda struck by truck." His eyes scanned the article.

It appeared out of nowhere," said the 33 year old truck driver. "It looked like the bear had lost balance because it was clumsy, pushed, or drunk."

"Odd…" Lei thought as a green light engulfed him.

"Ah, hell." Said a familiar voice. Once Lei's vision returned, he was able to see that he was on a freak cat bus with Jun, Kazuya, Lee, Jin, Michelle, Julia, Ling, Bryan, and Asuka.

"Why the hell are you here?" Bryan asked.

"I could ask you the same question." He retorted.

"Save your breath," Lee said. "No one knows why any of us are here."

Lei smiled suddenly. This was the intervention he had been praying for! And with the criminal lords Kazuya, Lee, and Bryan aboard, he just had to wait for them to slip up and then he could arrest them.

"Wipe that stupid smirk off your face, worm," Kazuya growled. "I'm not stupid enough to get caught by you."

_We'll see._ Lei thought smugly.

About to strike up conversation with Michelle, he caught her stormy look and decided wisely against it. His eyes fell upon Ling and remembering what he read about Panda he said. "I'm sorry about Panda, Ling; I know you two were good friends."

Ling gave him a weird look, and Bryan scoffed.

"Yeah right, I was there when panda got hit." Bryan said.

"What do you mean?" Lei asked suspiciously while glancing at Ling's upright form.

"Well, there I was waiting for the walk signal when-

"Wait," Jin interrupted. "Big bad scary, psychotic, killing machine uses the crosswalk?"

"Yeah, that's right" Lei said. " Bryan's never J-walked before."

Everyone began to laugh hysterically.

"Shut the fuck up!" Bryan yelled, but no one could hear him over the roaring laughter.

"Meeoow, even this cat bus has J-walked." The cat bus teased. "Loser!"

This was too much for the tekken crew, and they began to tear.

Bryan, furious now, could only mutter darkly under his breath and wait for them to stop laughing.

15 minutes later, everyone gained their composure and Bryan continued his story.

"So, there I was, waiting for the sign to say 'walk' when I see pigtails over there," He jerked his head towards Ling. "and that dumb bear across the street. I was going to throw a rock at her head, but the two were arguing about something. A car passed in front of them, and next thing I knew, Panda was stumbling backwards into the crosswalk, trying to regain her balance." He smiled. "And then, this 18 wheeler comes out of nowhere and BAM! That panda's flatter then Ling's chest. When I look to see if she's crying like a fat baby, she wasn't there, she was running in the opposite direction. I think she killed Panda."

Everyone looked over at Ling who was whistling.

"Oh, shit," Lei said. He was closest to Ling. He began struggling against his bonds. "Let me out! Let me out!" He cried.

"You think you've got problems." Jin said. "She stalks me!"

"I wanted those damn squirrelly chips!" Michelle yelled.

Julia gave her mother a horrified look. "But mother-

"5 fucking hours and no chips, and I'm stuck with all these freaks!"

"Don't worry, Michelle," Jun patted her friends back. "I'm sure that it'll get better…"

"Bullshit," Kazuya spat. Jun glared at him, but he merely snorted.

"You shouldn't try to sugar coat it." Lei said. "I mean, we're on a fricken cat bus for crying out loud! And look who's here with us; Bryan, Lee, Kazuya, Ling. We're not going to fun land."

"I have to agree with him mom." Asuka said gloomily.

A silence descended on everyone.

"Hey, retard bus, who are we picking up next?" Bryan asked.

"Meeeooow, read dumbass" The catbus replied.

18 pairs of eyes looked upwards. The now visible sign read: Nina, Anna, and Steve.

**A/N: thank you, Lavender23 for our 1st and only review**


	5. sister, how I love thee

Disclaimer: still, I own nothing...and my sister only owns her OC.

Thanks 4 all the reviews.

Chapter 4: Sister, how I love thee

Nina Williams carefully carved out the roast chicken she had perfectly prepared for the 2 people she loved most in the world; her dearest sister Anna, and her adorable son, Steve.

"Smells delicious, mum." Steve said, voice full of affection.

"Thank you, Steve." She replied, beaming at her pride and joy.

"I must agree, Nina, you've always been a wonderful cook." Anna complimented before turning to Steve. "So, Steve, how was your first week back at college? Did you make any new friends?"

"It was great, Aunt Anna." Steve said, his voice full of enthusiasm "My classes are swell, and yes, I did make a bunch of new friends."

"That's great, Steve." Nina chimed. "I'm glad that you're enjoying college so far."

"And I'm glad that you and Aunt Anna have put aside your bitter hatred for each other so that we can be a loving family."

"Me too." The two sisters chorused.

"Jinx!" Nina yelled and giggled at Anna's pouty face.

After a moment the pout was wide grin and Nina and Anna smiled at each other.

What the hell are you smoking! This is what really happened.

Nina glared at the slightly burnt chicken on the table. That damn bird had caused her to burn herself and it hurt like a bitch. She then transferred her glowering eyes to her sister, whose nose was wrinkled in disgust.

"Got a problem?" She drawled.

"Oh, no Nina," Anna said sarcastically. "You're such a good cook that I'm dying to try it."

"You bitch!" Nina screamed.

"Steve, order a pizza." Anna commanded.

"Don't you touch that phone, brat." Nina snarled.

"Yes, mum." He yelped.

"Order the damn pizza or I'll tell 'mum' what you did in college."

Steve paled. "Right away, Aunt Anna." He stammered. He reached for the phone.

Nina slapped his hand away and grabbed the phone.

"What did you do, Steve?" Nina asked through suspicious eyes.

"N-nothing, m-mum." He answered nervously. Anna smiled wickedly.

"He punched out a girl."

"Why?" Nina wanted to know.

"B-because she pantsed me!"

Nina's eye twitched. "All this fuss because of that? Of course, I'm related to morons."

"But not just any girl." Anna said mischievously. "Julia Chang."

Julia Chang!" Nina exclaimed. "What was she doing in London?"

" Oh', no, no, she wasn't in London, Steve was in America."

Steve was dead white.

"And what was Steve doing in America?" Nina asked with deadly quiet.

"Why, he was drinking, drugging, screwing around and... did you ever wonder why so many men were calling you from America?"

Nina turned red as her eyes fell upon her son.

"I-I only gave your number to respectable men." He said weakly.

"Steve, you're going to die today." Nina through clenched teeth.

"Now mum, don't be rash." Steve begged, backing away. Anna was laughing uncontrollably.

"I'm not being rash, Steve." Nina explained. "I've had it living with this dumb slut, How you convinced me to live with her for a whole month, I don't know. Then you go gallivanting around America, after you lied to me and told me it was for a boxing match."

"But mum-

"Shut up!" Nina yelled. "Then I get calls from these perverts who are asking when I'm available and how cheap," Anna's eyes were brimming. "While you have a merry fucking time!"

I'm er...sorry?" Steve apologized weakly.

Nina shrieked, but before she could do anything-yep, you guessed it- a green light flashed and the three disappeared.

**A/N: I felt weird typing the mushy stuff out. Thank goodness it wasn't real. Keep those reviews coming, it boosts the morale 4 me and my sister. **


	6. Red vines, King's new love

Disclaimer: 4 the last time, I own nothing.

Chapter 5: Red vines, King's new love

"Where the hell am I now?" Nina shouted, eyes still flaming.

"Anna, is that you?" Lee asked in astonished tones.

"Lee? Oh my god, what are you doing here?"

Nina rolled her eyes and looked at the people around her; The Mishimas, the Changs, that stalker pigtailed girl, Bryan, Lei, and her sisters perverted ex, Lee. Nina looked at Jun, who was the only one who seemed sensible and asked her: "Why am I here?"

"None of us know." Jun answered. "For some reason we've all been abducted. We only know who will be next by the sign." Jun explained, nodding her head towards the sign. It still read 'Anna and Nina Williams and Steve Fox.

"M-m-m-mum," Steve stammered.

"What is it, Steve?" Nina asked irritably.

"It's her, Julia."

"So?"

"Yeah, Steve, why are you scared, it's only Julia." Jin said. "If I were you, I'd worry more about Ling."

"S-she's the one that – that pantsed me!"

At first, no one spoke, but then Anna's shrill laughter broke through the silence and soon everyone was joining in. Steve scooted as far away from her as possible and Julia blushed.

"I thought that I could sell it on e-bay and get lots of money for my reforestation project." She explained.

"Yeah right," Bryan wheezed. "You just wanted to see his underwear!"

So caught up in the moment, no one noticed that the sign had changed and now read 'King'.

"That will be $183.93, sir." The cashier said to an ecstatic King. He slid in his credit card and punched in his pin number.

"Thank you, ma'am." He beamed her a smile (don't ask me how he can under a mask, its my sisters fanfic) and grabbed his bags.

_Life sure is great._ He thought. _I've been sober for seven months, and its all thanks to you, Red vine. _He opened the wrapper and bit into a red vine, savoring its delicious fruity taste. It took him a while to notice that someone was calling him. He turned around to see two boys glaring at him.

"Hey, Mister!" The boy with the backwards hat began. "You've been buying all the red vines from all the stores. It's not fair!"

"Yeah." The chubby boy agreed.

King gave them a stricken look. "I guess it is pretty unfair, and what kind of monster would I be, denying the fruity goodness to two sweet, innocent boys. I can spare a couple of packs."

"Now!" Yelled the boy with the hat.

A pack of fiercely yelling children came out and launched themselves at King. They knocked him over and tied his feet with jump ropes. Then they kicked him and stole his precious red vines. Something snapped inside of King. Here he was, trying to reform himself and those little child demons had just mugged him for HIS red vines!

"You little bastards!" He screamed, violently ripping the jump ropes off. He sprinted off after the leader, hat boy, determined to reclaim what was rightly his.

After shoving people to the ground (5 of which were old ladies) , jumping over fire hydrants and squeezing through alleys, he finally managed to corner the little punk.

"So, you thought it would be funny, huh? Beat up the jaguar freak and steal his candy. Give me back my red vines."

"Bite me." The boy answered.

"Alright, that is it..."

5 minutes later, King had been reunited with his beloved red vines and hat boy was rubbing his sore backside.

"I hope you'll think twice before stealing from people in the future." King lectured.

"You're a child abuser and I hate you."

"Get lost before you piss me off again." Hat boy scampered off muttering darkly.

"Kids now days, no respect-huh?"

King shook his head trying to get rid of his confusion. He was sitting on a cat-bus sitting newt to Jin Kazama. He looked around. There seemed to be quite a few tekken fighters gathered.

_Oh god,_ He thought, scared, but looked down and sighed in relief. Still there, his red vines.

"Aren't you gonna ask why you're here?" Jin asked.

"Nope, don't care."

"Are those red vines?" Xiaoyu asked, mouth drooling. King glared at her.

"Not for you, thunder thighs!"

"Thunder thighs?" She squealed and started to bawl.

"Great, just great!" Nina said, wincing at Xiaoyu's ungodly wailing.

"Hey, dumb bus, why did the freak show get to keep his candy?" Bryan yelled.

"Mmmeeeooowww, I hate red vines." It snickered.

"Damn you!"


	7. Hwoarang, Baek and Christe

Disclaimer: we don't own tekken

Chapter 6: Hwoarang, Baek and Christy- In a disco joint?

"Run faster. You're almost there. Only 8 more miles to go."

Hwoarang pumped his legs harder, brushing away the strands of rebellious hair that were smacking him in the face. Dammit all, this was just insane. 8 more miles? He'd just run 6! Wasn't that enough? He slowed his pace, earning him a rapt to his sides by a bamboo rod.

"Be constant, Hwoarang." Baek Doo San scolded.

"Isn't this punishment enough?" He complained.

"If you hadn't thrown those bricks through Jin Kazama's windows, you wouldn't be in this predicament. Those windows cost $1400 to replace. And you know you have to run 1 mile for every $100."

"I know that, master, but explain to me again why you HAVE to be sitting on my back the entire time."

"Part of your new discipline routine."

"So your going to do this ALL the time?" Hwoarang wailed.

"No, I just want you to know that I'm going to be more of a hardass." Hwoarang moaned. "Pick up the pace. If you have enough energy to talk, you have enough energy to run faster."

"Kazama, you little tattle tale, I'm gonna kick your ass."

Flashback

Hwoarang rode his motorcycle to Mishima Manor, clutching his bag of bricks and grinning maniacally. _This should piss Kazama off real good._ He thought. He rode pass the open gate smirking.

_They're so full of themselves. "Oh, we're so strong that we can leave the gates to our big mansion wide open." I'll show him._

Putting down his kick stand, Hwoarang started counting windows. "20-26 to the right." He said, stopping in front of Jin's windows. _Bastard has such a big room._ "Well, I hope he likes a little breeze at night." He said as the first brick crashed through the first window. As he broke the next 2, Jin's head popped out of the first window. He glared at the snickering Korean.

"Hwoarang, you fucker, you're gonna pay for this."

"Ha, good luck with that, I don't have any money!" Hwoarang yelled, flipping him off.

"Then your master can pay for the damage. I'm gonna call him right now!"

"You don't have any proof, Kazama, and Baek hates your old man! He'll never believe you!"

"That's why we have security cameras, dumb shit." Jin yelled back.

"Ah, fuck." Hwoarang muttered. "This isn't over Kazama!" He threatened before running off. _I'll hide, and Baek will never find me._ He thought.

2 days later, Baek found him getting drunk at his favorite bar.

End flashback

"And you're done." Baek said, jumping off his back. Hwoarang clutched his side, leaning against a street lamp for support. A gust of wind caused a flyer to hit him smack in the face. Eye twitching, Hwoarang peeled the paper from his sweaty face and was about to rip it to hell when the words struck a cord in his memory.

"Tiger's place?" He murmured.

"Yes it opened a few days ago when you were vandalizing Mishima Manor." Baek supplied helpfully.

"Oh." Hwoarang answered, caught up on the picture of a girl next to Tiger who looked oddly familiar.

"Isn't that Miss Montiero?" Baek inquired, squinting at the picture.

"Oh shit, it is!" Hwoarang burst into laughter. "I could hardly recognize her with the fro and heavy make up."

"Would you like to go and support your friend?" Baek asked.

Hwoarang grinned evilly. _This is just what I need. A little_ _pick me up. I'm gonna enjoy humiliating Christie with pictures of her at "Tiger's place" at the next tournament._

"Yes, master Baek. I would like to go and support my friend." Hwoarang answered.

"Alright, go home and shower first, I'll meet you in an hour."

"See ya!" Hwoarang waved. _Finally, I can enjoy myself the way I always do: At someone else's expense._

Christie leaned over to check her appearance and grimaced. She wore heavy electric blue eye shadow and thick mascara. She had a magenta blush spread across her cheeks and cherry red lipstick. She wore a half hot pink vest with puffy sleeves and massive bell bottoms that hugged her waist. Luckily, her hair hadn't been froed yet. Tiger had hand picked everything for her. _What horrible taste! I can't believe I'm wearing this ugly get up._ "Why am I doing this?" She moaned.

"Because you need cash and I need a hot singer for my new disco club." Tiger said, handing her a pair of giant gold hoop earrings.

Christie sighed as she put on the earrings. "Why did you choose Korea?"

"Well, I thought to myself 'where are there a lot of paid people who need to relive the disco era?'"

"And Korea came to mind?"

"No, Hawaii did, but prices for property are way up over there, so I disco pointed to a spot on the map."

Christie rolled her eyes. "You'll have to do without the fro tonight, foxy mama, cause we gotta go right now." He said, pushing her toward the stage.

Hwoarang looked around the club, surprised that it was actually packed._ This is so cheesy, what a bunch of losers._ Suddenly the stage lights shot on projecting neon colors of orange, green and hot pink. Hwoarang focused his camera to the center of the stage waiting for Christie to appear. She walked on accompanied by wackos and took the mic. Hwoarang choked on his laughter.

_Oh man, she's never gonna live it down..._

"Why the camera?" Baek wanted to know.

"I'm gonna make Christie a scrap book." He said in kind tones. "Three...two...one." As he clicked the button to snap Christie's picture... he was beamed aboard.


	8. Bethy Mcplainface, or is it?

Disclaimer: we own nothin', well my sister owns the oc, and finally she's here! Yeah.

Chapter 7: Last of the abducted-, Bethy Mcplainface, or is it?

"I had hoped that the bus was lying." Jin moaned

"Kazama!" Hwoarang shouted.

"Not so loud!" Baek scolded but was ignored.

"I'm gonna kick your ass for squealing on me!"

"Nobody hurts Jin-Jin!" Xiaoyu raged.

"I see how it is, Kazama, you need a woman to fight your battles."

"Jin, I thought he was your friend." Jun said, a bit confused.

"No, mom, he's just another annoying stalker."

"I do not stalk you!" Hwoarang replied hotly.

"What is wrong with you!" Christie cut in. "We've been abducted and all you can think about is your stupid rivalry with Jin? Now can somebody tell me why we're here and why I'm sitting next to Ling?"

"No one knows." Nina said sourly.

"And it's just your extreme bad luck that you have to sit next to Ling." Lei added.

Christie glared at him. Could this day get any worse? She turned her eyes forward and noticed both Lee and Jin were staring at her chest.

"Why are you so clothed?" Lee asked with disdain.

"Stop being a pervert!" Michelle snapped, smacking him upside the head.

"Ow! I was just appreciating her breasts." Lee said in defense. "And besides, she looks so funky."

"God, who dressed you?" Julia interrupted.

"Tiger," Hwoarang answered with a snicker. "It seems that Miss Montiero needed some money so she had to work at a disco joint.

This earned him yet another slap to the head.

"How dare you mock a lady in hard times? Apologize." His master scolded.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"Umm, guys," Asuka said.

"What?" Kazuya asked.

"There's one more seat next to Ling and there's eight guys and seven girls."

"Let's hope that she's hot." Lee exclaimed.

"Is that all you think about?" Michelle snapped.

"He's got a one track mind." Kazuya muttered.

"Let's at least hope she's pretty," Jin said. "I don't want to die looking at Ling."

"That was mean." Jun chided.

"But it's true." Jin muttered.

"Oh, no!" Lee nearly screamed.

"What, what is it?" Anna asked, worried.

"The screen..." he said weakly. "It says Bethy Mcplainface."

While Jin moaned, Ling smiled. She had made a deal with Bethy Mcplainface. If she participated in the show, Xiaoyu would give her a stick of gum.

_And she looks so plain faced that I look much better in comparison. hehehehe. Everything is going according to plan._

Bethy Mcplainface merrily marched down the street, unaware of the odd looks that were being directed to her.

At age 18 she still suffered from horrible acne that gave her skin an oily shine. She had thick framed bifocals paired with silver braces. Bethy's light brown hair was half braided with lots of loose strands sticking out everywhere. She wore neon green sweat pants along with a fire engine red T-shirt littered with various stains. Her shoes were worn and to top off her outfit was a metallic purse.

"Here I am on Brooklyn Avenue." She announced. "Where's Xiao- Xiao- whatever. I want my gum. It's hot and she's taking forever."

"Mom, who's she talking to?" a little girl asked her mom.

"Stop staring dear, and let's walk a little faster." The mother replied in hushed undertones.

About to complain some more, a copper glint caught her eyes. She looked down, saw a penny and exclaimed: "Oo, a quarter!" As she bent down to claim her prize, a green light descended on her. But, as fate would have it, the ray bounced off her metallic purse and flew across the street...

"Here you go, ma'am, that's the last cone I got." The vendor said as he handed the woman her ice-cream.

"Today is scorching hot, I'm so lucky that I got my lunch break early, I really-

The reflected ray hit her then and she dematerialized.

"Oh, shit!" He dropped the ice cream cone and ran.

Setsuna Sanada sat gingerly on her fur seat, baffled. "Hwoarang? Master Baek? Mr. Mishima? What are you-?

She was interrupted by the hysterical laughter of Lee and Jin.

"She's hot, she's so damn hot." Lee wheezed.

Setsuna blushed and looked away.

"Hey, you keep your lecherous looks and remarks to yourself!" Hwoarang yelled, but Lee continued on.

"And here I thought I was going to be stuck looking at some COW!"

"I'm gonna bash your jaw in!"

"Why so defensive, Hwoarang?" Lee teased.

"Because she's my sister!"

This stopped the 2's laughter.

"You have a sister?" King asked, amazed.

"Yeah, she's my half sister."

"How do you know my dad?" Asuka wanted to know.

"Because Ms. Sanada and I are business associates." Kazuya answered.

"No!" Lei said, shocked. "She's the Setsuna Sanada of Sanada Corp?"

"Aren't the Mishima Zaibatsu and G Corporation trying to buy you out?" Julia inquired.

"Yes, they want my nano technology research." Setsuna answered politely.

"Kazama, stop looking at sister's chest!" Hwoarang warned.

"Jin don't be rude." Jun scolded.

Lee, Jin, Hwoarang and Baek began to argue while Setsuna turned red.

Xiaoyu bit her tongue in sheer anger. The girl sitting next to her was not horribly plain at all. She was beautiful with her long layered blond hair and amethyst eyes. Dressed in a knee length gray skirt and a long white button down shirt with classy closed toe black heels. And she was so damn curvy! Damn that dumb idiot Mcplainface girl!

"Fuck!" She screamed. "Is this plain faced? I don't think so! Dumb shit can't get anything right! I would have been sitting next to Bethy Mcplainface, but no! I got gorgeous super model business woman! What the fuck happened! I'm gonna beat the shit out of her! Now I look uglier in comparison and I just want my JIN-JIN!"

Everyone stared wide eyed at the fuming Chinese girl, Setsuna and Christie attempting to edge away.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Setsuna cried. "This crazy Chinese girl is gonna slit my throat!"

"I knew it," Bryan declared. "I knew she was damned crazy."


	9. Our hell, in the middle of the sea

Disclaimer: we. No. Own. Tekken.

Chapter eight: Our hell, in the middle of the sea.

After Ling's… colorful depiction of just how she was feeling, no one spoke. Everyone was on edge. Just where were they being taken? Why did the stupid cat-bus fly from China to Japan to America, London, Korea and then back to America again?

An annoying ding sounded and a generic stewardess' voice spoke through the intercom.

"We are now approaching our destination The Island of Love or Hell. Please remain seated until the cat-bus comes to a complete stop."

"Meeeoow, this is your captain speaking and I'd like to say that making you all miserable was extremely joyful for me. The Island has a tropical temperature of 78 degrees. Please enjoy the accommodations that the Mishima Zaibatsu are providing.

Many pairs of angry eyes turned towards Kazuya.

"Don't blame me, this was none of my doing! I knew that old man was too quiet!"

"What the fuck is this shit?" Nina shouted. "Since when was old man Mishima a fairy?" No one answered as they landed on the strange island.

With a bumpy landing and many curses, the tekken crew stumbled out of their furry tormentor. Bryan flung a coconut tree at the cat-bus.

"That was for stealing my candy, you bitch!" He screamed triumphantly.

Angered, the cat-bus coughed up a hairball on him and ran away.

"You mother fucker!" He screeched, shaking his fist. "If I ever see your fat ass again, I'm gonna make some CAT CHAR SU!"

Asuka edged away from the crazed cyborg and noticed something.

"Where's mom and dad? They were right here…" Before anyone could answer, beautiful women in coconut tops and hula skirts greeted them with alohas and leis.

"Hey, this place isn't so bad." Lee murmured, eying up a particularly voluptuous woman.

"Please follow us." They coaxed.

"Why should we?" Michelle asked hotly.

"Do you not wish to know why you have been brought here?"

"I do." Nina said, cracking her knuckles. "And I want to know now."

"Let us just follow them." Baek said. "Violence will get us nowhere."

"Everyone just relax." Lee coaxed. "They're hot women, it can't be bad."

Shaking their heads and not knowing what to do, they followed.

They were led to a waterfall with a tiki twisted into a heart at its base. There Jun and Kazuya walked towards them. Jun wore a white tank top and yellow wrap and sandals along with a red hibiscus tucked behind her ear. Kazuya, however, was still in his three piece black suit.

"So you were in on it." Lei accused.

"Wrong as usual, dipshit, we were snatched by a crazy gorilla when the fucked up bus landed."

"And you couldn't get away from it because…?" Jin asked.

"You know how your mother is about the dumb animals, wise ass."Kazuya said.

"We were put into wardrobe and make up –

"You were put into wardrobe and make up." Kazuya interrupted.

"And suddenly we had a bunch of knowledge about this game show called the Island of love or hell in our heads." Jun finished.

"Mishima knowledge serum." Setsuna murmured.

"What's happening, mother?" Jin asked.

"There is no way off this island, no way to communicate with anyone. You must all participate in the game show."

On here words, a director and camera crew appeared and began shooting a scene of Kazuya and Jun by the waterfall.

"Hello America, I am Jun Kazama, and this is my husband, Kazuya Mishima. We are the hosts of T.V's newest reality show called the Island of Love or Hell. There are eight men and eight women and only one way to leave…through matrimony."

The camera zoomed in on the unbelieving faces of the "victims."

"Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" Lee screamed, running away only to be caught by an unusually large gorilla. "I'm not staying! Put me down you pansy!"

"Gag him!" Kazuya ordered and it was done immediately.

"And you, America," Jun continued. "Shall choose who shall marry who."

Dramatic music played and Jin gripped his heart. "Not Ling!"

"Heh, how do you expect to force us into marrying someone? We'll just kick your asses and leave." Hwoarang said in a cocky tone.

"Oh, you'll stay." Kazuya said evilly. "You see, all of you have a dirty little secret that I would have no trouble telling millions of viewers. For instance, Lee's first kiss … Julia's father… Nina's obsession with—"

"Enough!" Nina said sharply. "We'll play the dumb game."

"I thought you would." Kazuya said with a smirk.

"Now it is time to introduce our players." Jun said with a sunny smile.

"Yes, the pathetic losers who couldn't get married on their own…" Kazuya interjected. "Our first bachelor is… Lee Chaolan, who despite what he claims is forty eight." Muffled cries could be heard from Lee. "He is a sad, sex crazed man who likes to wear purple and pony vests." More muffled cries. Photos were shown of Lee in Tekken 2 and 4.

"Next we have Baek Doo San," Jun said, glaring at her husband for humiliating Lee on television. "Who is a master of Tae Kwon Do." Footage was shown of Baek kicking some serious ass.

"Lei Wulong, Forty Seven, the "super cop" of China." Kazuya mocked. "His last date was twenty years ago with Jun." Lei flipped him off.

"Thirty four year old single mother and assassin, Nina Williams." Jun said evenly, despite the death glare Nina was giving her.

"My adoptive brother's bimbo gal pal, shadow of her sister, Anna Williams!" Kazuya was seriously enjoying himself.

"Michelle Chang, thirty years old, Native American who fights for the justice of Native American Indians."

"King, the twenty eight year old who takes his job way too seriously. Once and alcoholic, King "reformed" his ways and exchanged beer bottles for Red Vines."

"Steve Fox, twenty five, the son of Nina Williams, he is a renounced British boxer."

"Christie Montiero, twenty five years old and already broke even though she doesn't go to college. She currently works at a low grade disco joint (In Korea, Disco Tiger's: ahh, man, that wasn't nice!)"

"Julia Chang, twenty four years old, daughter of Michelle. She is a brilliant young woman working for a noteworthy cause: to reforest Arizona ."

"Jin Mishima, an unworthy pest whose father questions his sexuality after finding him with a Betty Crocker cookbook."

Jin threw a rock at Kazuya, but it missed and hit Julia instead.

"Jin, Kazuya, behave." Jun scolded firmly. "Hwoarang, a twenty four year old who is aspiring to be a Tae Kwon Do Master."

"Asuka Mishima, twenty three year old spoiled brat who would probably be a good match for King with the amount of tequila she drinks when broken up with."

"Dad! I can't believe you just said that!" Asuka ranted. Kazuya grinned evilly.

"Twenty two year old Ling Xiaoyu who likes amusement parks and has an unhealthy attachment with my son."

"And finally" Kazuya emphasized. "Setsuna Sanada, twenty two, is the only virgin on the show. She should give her company to me and other than that I don't care what the hell she does."

"Julia!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Kyle was hot…" Julia said as Michelle's eye twitched.

"Ling's not a virgin?" Jin asked. "Who the hell would want to go all the way with her?"

"I'm sorry Jin-Jin!" she squealed. "He meant nothing to me!" Jin ignored her.

In China…

"I thought what we had was special!" Some guy named Huangdi yelled.

Back to the Island…

"If you follow us," Jun said, "We will meet the producer of this show."

They headed toward the beach.

**E/N **(e standing for editor, since I'm just the loser that types out the story.)**: we know that the ages are inaccurate. Do not waste a review telling us so. But review and say this was awesome… or whatever. But review, because to get my sister to write fanfic, I have to bribe her, and you know what that means? I have to wash all of the dishes! And I am a LAZY girl, so I hope you all appreciate it. Sayonara. **

**From, Getemono, the lazy loser editor who types this all out. **


	10. Roommates

Chapter nine: Roommates

When the tekken crew arrived on the beach and saw the producer, everyone but Jun, Setsuna, and Ling had to be restrained by the oversized gorillas.

"You bastard! Nobody makes me the host of a lame ass show!" Kazuya raged.

The producer, wearing a long black habbit of a priest, grinned wickedly. "Still a dumbshit," he observed. "I just did."

"I hate you, you're a horrible grandfather." Asuka spat.

"How dare you endanger my life by making me eligible to marry Ling!" Jin screamed.

"The animals, won't someone think of the animals?" Julia cried, causing everyone to stop their yelling and look at her with disgust and confusion.

"And Julia." Jin added.

"Alright, old man, you'd better tell me why I'm here or I'll gut you." Nina promised with vehemence.

"And why are you dressed like a priest?" Lei questioned.

"And you call yourself a cop." Heihachi muttered. "First off, I didn't choose any of you, the creator of the show did." I don't give a damn about your pathetic love lives."

"What soon to be dead dumb-fuck created this shit?" Bryan asked.

"I'm not at liability to disclose that information," Heihachi answered smoothly. "And as to the genius' question, I'm going to perform the wedding ceremonies."

Anna smiled as everyone began complaining again. "I don't see why everyone's so worked up; the moment we get 'married' we can all just file for a divorce." Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"Wipe that smug smile from your face, you tavern house slut, you all have to stay married to your significant other for at least a year."

"Says who?" Michelle snapped.

"Says me, the keeper of all your little secrets." Heihachi shot back. "Now if we're all done with this little boo-hoo session, Jun and my idiot son can begin to tell you more about the game."

"Get this repulsive ape off me." Kazuya ordered.

Heihachi scratched his head, made some disturbing monkey noises and the gorillas released them, running back into the jungle

"Alright," Baek said. "Let's try to forget that. Please tell us more about this disreputable game, Jun."

"Well, with each week there is a competition, date and wedding. Each competition is different from the last and your partner of the opposite sex is picked by a drawing. The reward is that the winning couple gets a special reward while the losers have to do a penalty chore."

"What kind of penalty chore?" King asked.

"You'll see." Kazuya said evilly. "And just because you won the game, doesn't give you immunity to the wedding at the end of the week. After all, this is America's choice." Kazuya laughed.

"Where do we live?" Christie asked nervously.

"You will room with someone of the same sex in a much too comfortable apartment." Kazuya said in disappointed tones.

"This keeps getting worse and worse." Lee moaned.

"But," Jun added, "Once a couple is married, they are moved to the Newly Weds Sweet on the other end of the island."

"Do we get to choose our roommates?" Setsuna asked, hopeful.

"No," Kazuya scoffed. "I'll be picking your roommates." Everyone groaned.

"Kazuya," Jun reprimanded. "You shouldn't crush people's hopes."

"It's what I do best." He said, shrugging. "You will pick your partners by climbing up coconut trees. You will grab one coconut and bring it back here. You may begin now."

The sixteen contestants scrambled up the sixteen coconut trees, praying for a good partner. Bryan grabbed his coconut and "accidentally" dropped it on Julia's head.

"Oww!" she wailed.

"hehehe." He laughed.

Anna stole Nina's coconut, while Kazuya smirked at the baboons. They assembled near Jun and Kazuya, feeling very stupid.

"Now smash your coconuts."

This was an order they followed willingly.

"Hey dumb bitch, this is your head," Nina sang evilly. "Poor dear, not very much in there."

Anna seethed as Ling chuckled.

"Shut up, you dumb pig!" She snarled.

"Why are there colored balls in the coconuts?" Julia asked.

"I'm glad you asked that question." Jun said hurriedly. "You see, there are two balls of each color. Please stand to the person with the same color ball as you."

They did so in the order of: King and Bryan; Michelle and Anna; Baek and Lei; Asuka and Setsuna; Lee and Steve; Nina and Christie; Hwoarang and Jin; and Ling and Julia.

"Are you going to share those red vines?" Bryan asked.

"Maybe," King answered protectively.

"We roomed together in the second tournament; it is nice to become reacquainted with you." Baek said.

"Yeah," Lei answered. _Aw, crap, he's such a neat freak. He'll yell at me for not recapping the toothpaste!_ Lei thought.

_I hope he remembers to put the cap on the toothpaste back on_, Baek prayed.

"It could have been worse." Anna said.

"Agreed." Michelle sighed.

"This is kind of weird; we're paired with our brothers' sibling." Asuka commented. Setsuna nodded.

"Fuck no; I'm not sharing a room with Kazama!" Hwoarang yelled.

"Why not, rooming with you will be a tremendous joy for me." Jin said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up!" Lee snapped. "You think you have problems? I have to room with Steve; he'll so cramp my style!"

"Hey, that hurt." The British boxer cried.

"Men are idiots!" Christie exclaimed.

"If you keep on that mindset, we won't have problems." Nina told her roommate.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment." Julia whimpered.

"I wanted to room with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law Asuka, not this hippie!" Ling complained.

"People, we don't give a damn, now get to your rooms and shut the fuck up!" Kazuya ordered. They glared at him, but slowly began to leave.

"What about clothes?" Christie asked.

"You'll get them when you need them." Kazuya replied with a smirk.

"Sweet dreams everyone, we'll see you at ten in the morning when we'll announce your first competition." Jun informed them sunnily. No one was eager to hear the news.

Heihachi grinned as his pawns walked away. They were idiots, all of them. He had arranged it that way to irritate his annoying family, except Asuka. Her purpose was to form a strong friendship with Setsuna Sanada and then he'd arrange it so that she'd marry Jin. That way her company would become a Mishima Company and his to control. I owe that McPlainface girl _two_ sticks of gum for screwing up so perfectly.

"Ooo Ah ooo?" his gorilla sentinel asked.

"Yes, when I get what I want, you'll get what you want. Muahahahaha," They laughed, as dark clouds appeared with cackling thunder.

**E/N: My sister apologizes for taking so long to update, but she was busy. WE NEED YOUR HELP! You can choose the games and she'll go in order from whoever suggests first.**


	11. And so the Battle Begins

-1E/N: OMG, my fat ass sister finally got off her ass and wrote! It's a Fcking miracle! (Don't tell my sis, she'll beat me if she reads this. Ah shit, she found it)

Chapter 10- And The Battle Begins

On the island…

"Um, Lei," Baek began slowly.

"Yeah?" The Chinese cop mumbled as he got out of bed.

"Remember that talk we had some twenty years ago?"

"No." Lei answered lamely.

"The cap. The toothpaste cap. It was off _all_ night." Baek told him.

_Aw, crap, not again,_ Lei thought gloomily. _Now I get to hear about the importance of sanitation all over again._

Hwoarang's morning was going good, really good in fact. He had woken up early in a bad mood the instant he remembered who he was rooming with. Ever the optimist however, he soon found a reason to smile. After a mere twenty minutes, Hwoarang had constructed a contraption of numerous strings and springs around Jin's bed.

_Payback's a bitch, Kazama. _He thought with a large grin. He yanked the master rope and what should have just flopped Jin onto the floor catapulted him out of the window.

"Shit, that was sweet!" Hwoarang nearly sang. "Eat that, Kazama!" The fiery Korean yelled.

Picking himself off the ground, Jin glared murderously at his hysterical roommate. "This is war you fake-haired bastard!" The Mishima screamed as he charged back into his room on the fifth floor.

"What the hell was that?" Nina asked with a sour look on her face.

"I'm not sure, but it looks like Jin fell off the fifth floor or was catapulted out the window." Christie answered from the balcony.

"I need clothes dammit!" The blonde complained to nobody in particular.

"It is odd that we have to wait for our clothes." Christie said with a hint of annoyance.

"Room service." A robotic voice called from behind the door.

"Room service?" Christie repeated, dumbstruck. "I didn't even know we were allowed such a luxury." Nina opened the door and almost shut it again in agitation. Their attendee was Jack-2.

"What do you want?" She asked venomously. Jack-2 was oblivious to her resentment.

"Room service for Nina Williams and Christie Montiero." He pushed in a cart with two covered silver platters. When he didn't immediately leave, Nina snapped at him.

"What now you pathetic excuse for a mannequin?"

"A tip would be appreciated." In response to this, Jack-2 was given free air fare off the seventh floor.

"Oh, god!" Christie exclaimed, uncovering the platter. "Swimsuits!"

"Alright, idiots." Kazuya's voice boomed through the intercoms. "Put on your swimsuits and drag your sorry asses down to the lagoon." Christie and Nina exchanged glances and grabbed their swimsuits.

The tekken crew assembled, none to happy, on the lagoon. Jun and Kazuya entered. Jun was wearing a white strapless swimsuit. Someone had managed to convince Kazuya to wear a white dress shirt and black slacks, but he had refused to give up his shoes.

"Good morning everyone." Jun greeted cheerily. "I'm sure you're all excited to know about the first competition."

"No." Hwoarang answered. His right eye was beginning to swell, and it irked him that it was being filmed on National Television.

"Well, we don't care if you aren't." Kazuya brusquely told him. "I'm sure that those of you with a modicum of intelligence have figured out that the men and women have matching swimwear." Several pairs of eyes began looking around. "Idiots." He muttered.

"Please stand next to the person who has the same swimwear design as you do." They complied, and the pairs stood as: Lei and Asuka, Baek and Nina, Lee and Setsuna, King and Ling, Steve and Julia, Bryan and Christie, Jin and Anna and Hwoarang and Michelle.

"Take a good look at you partner because anyone of you could end up married to that person tomorrow night." Kazuya reminded them cruelly. One word rang through everyone's head: Shit.

"Moving along to the challenge." Jun interloped, glaring at her husband. "As you can tell from the colors and designs, each team represents a fruit: Lei and Asuka, you represent oranges, Baek and Nina represent apples, Lee and Setsuna, you are team watermelon, King and Ling you are team banana, Steve and Julia you have plums, Bryan and Christie are kiwis, and Hwoarang and Michelle are peaches."

"I want to be with Jin-Jin!" Ling demanded.

"Sorry, Ling-dear, but 'Jin-Jin' is with a real woman." Anna baited, holding onto his arm. Jin was filled with varying emotions: happiness and relief that he wasn't partnered with Ling, but fear because he was partnered with Anna, his Uncle's kinky ex-girlfriend.

_That whore is dead_. Ling thought maniacally.

"Um, could you do something about the distance that you're standing next to me?" Setsuna asked nervously.

"Of course." Lee said smoothly as he stepped even closer.

_Not what I had in mind._ Setsuna thought, sighing deeply.

"I don't really want to date you, but I don't want to do whatever the fuck those bastards think of as cleaning." Bryan told Christie.

"Ditto." Christie agreed. "I'm playing to win this challenge.

"Hey, Julia!" Hwoarang shouted.

"What?" The young woman asked dully.

"Your mom!" He got another black eye in just one hour.

_Oh no, _Asuka thought. _I'm too young to marry Detective Wulong! He's like my dad's age, gross!_

_I can't marry Asuka!_ Lei thought wildly. _I used to date her mom, and as pimping as that is, it's just not me. Must sabotage challenge so that America thinks we suck together._ He looked to his left to see Steve as far away from Julia as possible and Nina blatantly ignoring Baek. The latter greatly amused him.

"Shut up." Kazuya commanded angrily. They did so, but some glared angrily at him.

"Here is how the challenge will be played: There are many caverns within this lagoon, you and your teammate must find the two fruit of your team that are real because as you can see, the lagoon is littered with plastic fruit. After you have located your two real fruit, you and your partner must bring them into the circle that we are all standing in. The first team to do so wins the date. Are there any questions?" Jun asked.

"Why am I the only girl wearing a wet suit and board shorts?" Ling squealed. "Everyone else has bikinis and sexy one-pieces!"

"Sorry, we had to keep it rated PG-13." Kazuya explained with a smirk. Jin had to cover his smile.

_Thank you, God, I so owe you one._

**Well, he'll have to get in the back of the line.** The devil hissed in his mind. Jin only rolled his eyes. Stupid father and his dumb devil gene…

"The challenge begins now!" Jun yelled enthusiastically. The contestants sprinted into the water.

"What are you still doing here?" Kazuya asked King.

"If you were in my position, would you be trying?" King asked.

"Get the hell away from me." Kazuya warned. He hated the whole answering a question with another question shit.

The pro wrestler shrugged his shoulders and moved closer to the lagoon for a better view. _Who needs fruit anyways,_ He thought, _When you have the awesomeness of Red Vines._

"King, what are you doing!?" Ling shrieked. "We're supposed to be finding two bananas!" He only shoved another Red Vine in his mouth. "Fine, you stupid tiger, I'll find them myself!"

"Miss Williams, I think it would be best if we split up to find those apples." Baek suggested.

"I couldn't agree more." Nina said shortly. "I'll see you when I have both apples."

"Lei and Asuka had begun searching in the caverns farthest away from the shore, but their teamwork was terrible.

"I think we should look over there, Lei!" Asuka voiced her opinion loudly. The super cop had been ignoring her since the challenge began. "Are you so old that you can't hear someone who's two feet from you!?" She angrily shot at him.

"Those are fighting words!" Lei said angrily, and he hurled a plastic pear at Asuka's head. And so began the plastic fruit war of Lei and Asuka.

"For the last time, Lee, those are not the watermelons, those are my breasts! Stop trying to grab them!" Setsuna warned.

"You're so uptight." Lee complained. "If you'd let me touch them, I probably wouldn't even do it more than three times a day." She blindly swam away, colliding with Jin and Anna.

"Sorry." She murmured. "I have to get away from that pervert."

"Hey, I have a great idea!" Anna interrupted. "Jin, put me on your shoulders." she ordered.

"Okay." Jin complied. He had a feeling that arguing with Anna was not worth the headache that came up with it.

"I see what you're about, Anna! You are the epitome of a woman: brains and beauty!" Lee swam under Setsuna and hoisted her onto his shoulders.

"Chicken fight!"

"Kazama's not gonna one up me!" Hwoarang spat.

"No way, Hwoarang, we have to find the real peaches." Michelle scolded.

"I'll buy you ten bags of squirrelly chips when this stupid series is done."

"Deal." Michelle said and hopped onto his shoulders. _Fool,_ She thought. _I would have settled for one._

"What's all that commotion over there?" Nina wanted to know with thinning patience.

"It appears that the teams have engaged one another in chicken fights." Baek observed.

"That's Anna! She's not going to one me up! Let's go, Baek." Nina said, half dragging him.

"I must refuse, Miss Williams, our main objective is to find the apples."

"Whatever." Nina dropped his arm. "King!" She called. "Get over here!" King dusted off his shorts and raced in. It wasn't every day that he found himself participating in a hot girl's chicken fight, and he wasn't about to say no.

Bryan used his robotically enhanced eyes to scan the lagoon and locate the kiwis. "One kiwi is in the cavern to your right at the very end of the left. The other is in the cavern farthest out." He informed his partner.

"I'll meet you in the circle." Christie said before diving under the water.

"I found both of the real bananas!" Ling proclaimed triumphantly as she put them into the circle. She stared at Jun and Kazuya expectantly.

"Try again, dumb-ass, you need your partner here, too." Kazuya sighed. She angrily headed back towards the lagoon.

"I really don't want to do this." Setsuna tried to explain to Anna and Michelle. Neither listened as they threw her from Lee.

"You pervert, those are my boobs!" Setsuna screamed, slapping Le across the face. He shrugged.

"It was worth it."

"You bastard, I'll kill you!" Hwoarang threatened, effectively dumping Michelle from his shoulders.

"Mother!" Julia called. "Steve, I know that you don't like me very much, but if you be my partner for chicken, I'll never pants you again." She promised.

"It's a deal." Steve said. "But on one condition."

Julia shakily moved towards Anna and Nina with Steve on her shoulders.

"They look so stupid." Asuka commented.

"What's new?" Lei snorted.

"I tried to stop her." Baek said, shaking his head.

"Is that Steve on top of Julia?" Asuka asked, incredulous.

"Well, dear sister, it looks like I'll have another win to add to my belt." Nina drawled.

"Ha," Anna spat. "Jin and I have a special bond. You and your kitty cannot defeat us!" Their epic battle was short lived as Steve pushed Anna off into Nina, taking them both out.

"I win!" Steve shouted happily, pumping his fists into the air. Julia finally caved under the weight of the pro boxer.

"King!" Ling angrily yelled. "Let's go, I have the bananas in the circle! We have to go before--

"Winners: Bryan and Christie!" Jun announced.

**E/N: Give us some reviews! they encourage lazy sister!**


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